Be authentic. Vulnerability is contagious.
This will draw critics. Anything outside of the predetermined box that has been built for you to live passively within will do so. But the year is 2020 and “normal” has been turned on its head so why not roll with it?
I realize I might even know some of these critics to be my friends. Thankfully, I’ve got such a solid core that even if they think I’m crazy (newsflash: they already do), they will make sure to tell me so but will then be the first to show up. Anything and anyone else are just noise. So, let me help you out on that screenshot to your mean girls group text and make this a little louder for those in the back:
How’s your 9-5?
Because you only get to do this life once and you only get out of it what you put into it and right now, while my 9-5 is going swimmingly, I’m just not fulfilled by the mundane. I’ve come to realize that I’m not a personality type that can coast by, day to day, feeling like I should be doing more of what I love with my time. I cannot live a life that is anything less than full.
I’d like to first address the burning question and say that no, I am not “trying to become a blogger,” said with the negative connotation that unreasonably still comes with the title. I am not looking to make a profit. I am not looking to skip out on my day job to sit on the couch in cozy slippers, drinking coffee out of an oversized “J” mug, while writing up a few quick sentences to promote teeth whiteners or tummy tea. I have no hopes of breaking into the (booming) social media influencer game and you’ll be waiting a long time if you think you’ll catch me talking to myself in a mirror doing a Nordstrom try-on.
Put simply, I need something besides a Netflix murder mystery with my husband or a bubbly Sunday brunch with my girlfriends to get me through the week.
I need a place to relax my tightened shoulders and release that pent-up energy. I need a place to be me, out loud.
More than anything, I need to add a sense of intention to my life.
What if we lived with our eyes and our ears opened? You might pause there and question, “but my eyes are reading this, and my ears are listening to the background noise around me,” but I mean really, open- and open with genuine resolution.
What if we lived with purpose? A purpose to pay more attention to the world buzzing by around us and purposefully learn more about ourselves while doing so. What if our success wasn’t tied to material possessions or a year end salary of a certain figure? What if we instead lived with intention, aimed at our own individual evolution to grow into our best self and therefore live our fullest life? Imagine choosing to step outside of the natural progression we’re all just being swiftly carried through.
And what if, by doing so openly, we then inspire even just one of our peers to do the same?
Vulnerability is contagious.
Every day I see more people embracing this recent trend of authenticity and being vocal with their realities. It is truly empowering, and I must admit, is what stirred up the courage within me that finally brought me to sit at this keyboard and type.
I’ve always had this very present ache to write. I knew it was something I should be doing, whether recreationally or professionally, but I suppressed that urge. Most of you have read my writing before (what’s up, ESPNismyboyfriend), and you’ve encouraged me to pursue it further, but instead I’d continuously find a handful of logistical excuses. In reality, it was never anything more than the fear of maybe a couple mean girls group texts that kept me from pursuing something I loved so much to do.
I’ve since realized that admitting to my fear of your judgement takes away the power in it. That’s the thing about being vulnerable- when you are, YOU own YOUR self. The good, the bad, and the ugly, are all yours. They are yours to admit, yours to share, and only yours to judge.
This is me taking back that power of anyone’s judgement. This is me at my most vulnerable. And if you still feel the need to take a screenshot of someone opening themselves up to you about doing something they feel so insanely good to be doing, then you are just a really shitty person.
Hopefully, this little blog will add some excitement and meaning to my everyday life like I intend it to. Maybe it’ll even inspire just one person to be open with themselves, out loud in front of their peers, to do something they love, too.
I once asked a friend of mine who was starting his solo music career how he possibly had the gall to step out and put his most personal voice to the strings of a guitar for all to hear and critique. He had some of the best advice I’ve heard to this day, and will forever take with me:
“You can be the sweetest, freshest, brightest pineapple in the world… and there will still be someone that doesn’t like pineapples.”
So take or leave this blog- its either your pineapple or its not. I’m still going to be my own damn pineapple.
